a healthy gamer: good tips for parents PART 2

It's important to set limits

Set boundaries and make sure your kids understand them. How long are your children allowed to play? What kind of games? Don't just put a gaming system in their bedroom and leave it at that. Rather, turn it into a structured activity and make sure play occurs in a place where you can easily pay attention to their habits.

 Also be aware that gaming may be a pastime that's more appropriate for older children. "There are dangers to introducing games too early. It’s crucial to brain development for children to be actively engaged in the world, getting tactile feedback as they grow," Knorr tells us. "Children learn by doing—putting away the dishes teaches them to be careful, having conversations teaches them how to speak, and playing real games with their friends trains them in a whole host of social behavior that is key to lifelong healthy interactions in the world." Giving them a sedentary activity that's often done in isolation can interrupt that process, with a harmful effect on your child. Her advice is to wait until the age of six or so before introducing your children to gaming.

"I have always been pretty strict in my own home when it comes to movies, TV, games, cell phones, and Internet use," Vance says. "But I do find that whether one parent is more permissive or restrictive than another really should have no bearing on what happens in your own home. As a parent you have every right to set your own rules. No one else has the right to do that. That’s precisely why our age ratings are intended to serve as warning flags, not dictates for parents."

You have to go further than the rating on the box.

Let's take two games as an example: Halo 3 and X-Men Origins: Wolverine. Both games are rated M for Mature. Both games have almost identical descriptors on the back of the box—the difference being Halo 3 says "Mild language" while Wolverine's rating says "Language."

The difference in tone and level of graphic content in the two games couldn't be more stark, however. Halo 3 is a science fiction first-person shooter that feels more like Star Wars than an R-rated film; in my opinion, this is something that wouldn't be too harsh for many children aged 10 or so. If my seven-year-old walked in on me playing Halo 3, I wouldn't be in a rush to pause.

In contrast, when you play Wolverine, you'll see men decapitated. The violence is brutal, with the main character killing great swaths of enemies using only the blades on his hands. The language is rough, and the cut scenes are even more graphic than the gameplay. This isn't the best thing for children, and much of the content would get a hard R if it were rated like a movie.

The point here is that rating games is an imprecise thing, and comparing two games rated similarly can be an eye-opening experience. ESRB president Patricia Vance encourages parents to go deeper than just the rating if they're unsure of a game. "Our new rating summaries—available on our website and, for access in-store, via a new mobile website at m.esrb.org—provide an unprecedented level of detail about content in a game that factored into its rating assignment. The feedback we've gotten from parents is that rating summaries are precisely the type of information they need to make sensible choices for their kids."

Microsoft's David Dennis agrees. "Like with movie ratings, ESRB ratings are intended as general guidelines only. Parents should never buy a game based solely on these ratings and it’s the responsibility of each parent to do their homework when it comes to choosing games," he explains, also pointing out the new ESRB rating summaries. "Beyond the ratings, I always try out any games before I let my kids play them to be sure they are age appropriate."

In my own home I'm a big fan of Common Sense Media, and Patricia Vance pointed out that What They Play is also a solid resource for more information on what games are appropriate for what ages.